i feel sick to my stomach
This afternoon, my supervisor popped her head into my office as I was speaking with another counselor about her clients. She announced that we have an emergency situation that she just heard about. There is a young Muslim, immigrant woman who is pregnant and unmarried. She said that her parents are going to kill her if they find out (as this is punishable by death in the country she is from). I was asked by my supervisor to find a number for a local clinic that performs abortions and then to give her the information.
My supervisor left as quickly as she came in. V (the other counselor) said that she knew of a nearby Planned Parenthood that we could call. Then she looked at me, and must have seen the change in my face. "You're really disturbed by this aren't you?"
"V," I said, "I can't participate in this... If you want to do the research, that's up to you. But I cannot."
"Um, oh, ok. I'll do it. I have no problem with abortions," she said as she spun around in the seat and started looking up phone numbers on my computer.
I sat and looked at the ground. P, my Togolese coworker and Catholic sister in the faith listened, but kept on working on the document she was translating from french to english.
"This is really a touchy subject for you isn't it?" V asked over her shoulder.
"Yeah, it is," I said. Before I could say more, V commented, "Well, I guess everyone has their own beliefs."
"It's a human being not a belief!!" I exclaimed in my head, sitting uncomfortably in my chair. Instead of working to protect both mother and child, the solution presented was to get rid of the "problem" and to eradicate the evidence. I felt at such a loss for words at that moment. Even though I already knew that I'm in the minority on "religious" or "moral issues" such as that in my office, I have never come so close to the reality of it before. And it hit me pretty hard. I was hoping that P, as a sister in Christ, would share the angst that I felt.
After some moments of silence, P turned around in her chair and kind of sighed as she slowly got up in the way that she always does and adjusted her glasses. "Sometimes, this is just the way things have to be. I don't like it, but, that's the way it is."
Now it felt more like a personal defeat. I felt the weight of the irony that we, as an institution and as a program, put ourselves in the position to be advocates for some of the most marginalized people in our country; working to ensure that their human rights are protected. And yet...the most vulnerable of all, the unborn, are still viewed as expendable and undeserving of rights. In my mind, the issue of human rights for refugees, freedom of the slaves caught in human trafficking and the protection of the right to life for the unborn are all one in the same. Our society teaches us something different...
And still, feeling too discouraged to get into what could be an emotionally charged discussion, I said nothing, and only silently prayed for this 20 year old pregnant "woman" who I had never met, hoping that I would somehow be able to get information to her that she has other options.
"But let justice roll on like a river,
righteousness like a never failing stream....
You have lifted up the shrine of your king
the pedestal of your idols
the star of your god-
which you have made for youselves."
Amos 5:24, 26
My supervisor left as quickly as she came in. V (the other counselor) said that she knew of a nearby Planned Parenthood that we could call. Then she looked at me, and must have seen the change in my face. "You're really disturbed by this aren't you?"
"V," I said, "I can't participate in this... If you want to do the research, that's up to you. But I cannot."
"Um, oh, ok. I'll do it. I have no problem with abortions," she said as she spun around in the seat and started looking up phone numbers on my computer.
I sat and looked at the ground. P, my Togolese coworker and Catholic sister in the faith listened, but kept on working on the document she was translating from french to english.
"This is really a touchy subject for you isn't it?" V asked over her shoulder.
"Yeah, it is," I said. Before I could say more, V commented, "Well, I guess everyone has their own beliefs."
"It's a human being not a belief!!" I exclaimed in my head, sitting uncomfortably in my chair. Instead of working to protect both mother and child, the solution presented was to get rid of the "problem" and to eradicate the evidence. I felt at such a loss for words at that moment. Even though I already knew that I'm in the minority on "religious" or "moral issues" such as that in my office, I have never come so close to the reality of it before. And it hit me pretty hard. I was hoping that P, as a sister in Christ, would share the angst that I felt.
After some moments of silence, P turned around in her chair and kind of sighed as she slowly got up in the way that she always does and adjusted her glasses. "Sometimes, this is just the way things have to be. I don't like it, but, that's the way it is."
Now it felt more like a personal defeat. I felt the weight of the irony that we, as an institution and as a program, put ourselves in the position to be advocates for some of the most marginalized people in our country; working to ensure that their human rights are protected. And yet...the most vulnerable of all, the unborn, are still viewed as expendable and undeserving of rights. In my mind, the issue of human rights for refugees, freedom of the slaves caught in human trafficking and the protection of the right to life for the unborn are all one in the same. Our society teaches us something different...
And still, feeling too discouraged to get into what could be an emotionally charged discussion, I said nothing, and only silently prayed for this 20 year old pregnant "woman" who I had never met, hoping that I would somehow be able to get information to her that she has other options.
"But let justice roll on like a river,
righteousness like a never failing stream....
You have lifted up the shrine of your king
the pedestal of your idols
the star of your god-
which you have made for youselves."
Amos 5:24, 26
posted by jdances | 30.11.06
3 Comments:
Augh, Janelle... :/ It's not my place to be mad at you for not saying anything, but I could never handle that kind of job situation that you're in. I seriously think I would quit... after I said that that was wrong. But abortion is the one thing that I'm extremely sensitive to, and it's one of the few things I just can't waver on.
That whole situation just makes me really sad.
Yeah. That counselor and my supervisor both know now that abortion seriously "goes against my values." I had a talk with my supervisor about it the next day and she was at least sensitive to my "concerns". I did get to bring forth another option of a crisis pregnancy center that this girl could call, IF she calls us back or comes back to our office. My supervisor is right that no matter what happens in this case, there is absolutely NO good solution. BUT, I am firmly praying that this girl calls back and decides to go to the (Christian) crisis pregancy center that will offer her shelter and pregnancy support. Be praying for her. My supervisor said she's known a couple cases like this where the woman commited suicide or the family had people in the community attempt to kill the pregnant woman.
Oh, Janelle... Thank you for sharing that. Keep writing, my friend!
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